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Julian McCullough: Public Restroom Fears
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Julian McCullough: Magical Old
We go to stop in Chinatown and this, like, 150-year-old little Chinese lady goes to get on the bus. She probably wasn't literally 150, but you know how when Asian people get old they start to look like magical old?more
Julian McCullough: Bicycle Riding in New York City
Julian McCullough Jokes Riding your bike in New York City is exciting, you know what I mean? Cause you know how you're going to die, you just don't know when.more
Julian McCullough: Male Cleaning Schedule
Julian McCullough Jokes I used to live with five straight guys and -- ew, the cleaning schedule was 'nope.more
Julian McCullough: Sexual Advances in a Bar
Julian McCullough Jokes This woman started charging right at me, but she was stumbling, she was falling into stuff, she was wasted. I was like, 'Awesome. I'm already saving money.more
Julian McCullough: Brain Can't Dream
Did you know that if you go to bed wasted, your brain can't dream? It's like a medical thing. I have my own theory and that's that your brain is like, 'Dude, I'm not going to entertain you after what you just did to me for the last six hours.more
Julian McCullough: Girlfriend at Night
Girlfriend at Night Jokes.com #backgroundHolder : Girlfriend at Night Jokes.com ccinsider. imxTag new imxTag.src Jokes : Girlfriend at Night She woke me up in the middle of the night one time.more
The New Animated Horror-Comedy Series, Ugly Americans, Premieres March 17 at 10:30pm / 9:30c
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Russ Meneve: Racist Cops
Racist Cops Jokes.com #backgroundHolder : Racist Cops Jokes.com ccinsider. imxTag new imxTag.src Jokes : Racist Cops You ever see a shooting range in a cop movie?more
Ty Barnett: Wine Tasting in Chicago
It's just like the movie, 'Sideways' -- they'll drive to the vineyard, drink and drive, and there were no cops anywhere. I'm like, 'That's how you get away with it? I gotta try that in Chicago.' 'You been drinking tonight, sir?' 'No, just tasting.more
Alex Thomas: Ask a Stupid Question
My mother always told me, 'Boy, if somebody asks you a stupid question, you give them a stupid answer.' The cops walked up to my car, 'Would you like to step out of the car?' I said, 'Hell no, it's hot! I got the air conditioner on.more
Rich Vos: Loving 'Law & Order'
Rich Vos Jokes Rich Vos: Loving 'Law & Order' My favorite is that 'Criminal Intent' with Vincent D'Onofrio. That guy knows everything. He could look at a footprint and go, 'She liked her eggs over medium.more
Small Town Justice
ccinsider.comedycentral.comatom.com thedailyshow.com colbertnation.com Men/Women Jokes A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. ''But officer,'' the man said, ''I can explain.'' ''Just be quiet!!!more
What Not to Say to a Policeman
-- I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.-- Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize I was .-- Wow, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me! -- I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.more
Shane Mauss: Breaking In
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Damon Wayans: Bicycle Cop
I got pulled over by a bicycle cop in L.A. -- not a motorcycle cop, a bicycle cop. And I'm in my car, and he gets out -- he's sweating, he's got these little shorts on. 'You know how fast you were going?' 'Yeah, a lot faster than that bike.more
Tom Cotter: On Oprah Winfrey
I was on Oprah Winfrey once, but the cops pulled me off of her, and now she's pressing charges.more
David J. Nash: Crime in New York
I've been living in New York City now for four years. To this day, every time a crime in New York makes news at home, my dad calls. He called me last week: 'This old woman was beaten and mugged. Are you OK?more
Twelve Inch Radio Joke
A guy calls into a radio station and he says he has a joke for the DJ. The DJ goes, 'Alright, let's hear it.' The guy goes, 'What has a 2 inch penis and hangs down?' The DJ says, 'I dunno, what?' The guy says, 'A bat.more
Gene Pompa: Gay Older Brother
When I was 18 years old, one of my older brothers, he took me aside, and he told me he was gay. So, I called the police. I said, 'Could you send over a cop car? My brother's a homoual.more
Concorde Humor 2
ccinsider.comedycentral.comatom.com thedailyshow.com colbertnation.com News & Politics Jokes ''What are you doing tonight?'' asked the Air France co-pilot of the pilot. ''You coming out for drinks?'' ''No, I'm just going to crash at the hotel.more
The Treason of Illumination
ccinsider.comedycentral.comatom.com thedailyshow.com colbertnation.com News & Politics Jokes Q: How many bleached-blonde, boney, right-wing, political pundits who resemble transvestites does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just the one.more
Evidence of Early Political Humor
How many Whigs does it take to light an oil lamp? One, and that person shall be President Andrew Jackson, hero of the Battle of New Orleans and Friend to the Common Man!more
Bush BM
News & Politics Jokes President George W. Bush is hit by a strong case of constipation. He sends his Spanish secretary, who knows little English, to the local hospital. She tells the doctor, 'Big President Bush, no shit.more
Democratic Light Bulb Replacement Policy
How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb? That light bulb's never getting changed. Filed Under: (624) Share This Joke: Add To: Posted: 10/30/08 land Security makes us feel safe. Tags: (228), Dick Cheney. That is all.more